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Stephen R. Covey wrote, “Most people don’t listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” We all fall into this trap at times, but I think it is especially hard for leaders who have been programmed (and even rewarded) for being the “talker” rather than the “listener.”

Sarah was excited for her transition from individual contributor to the team lead.  She loved her teammates and she was a good employee.  She thought her team would be excited about her promotion.  She thought moving into the leader role would be easy.  She thought wrong… One of the most difficult leadership transitions is rising…
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Cassie was explaining the complexity of her current project to her supervisor.  She was managing a challenging team member, a non-responsive executive sponsor, and a new piece of presentation software—that only Cassie knew how to run.  The project was taking additional time because of challenges with the software and there was a backlog in IT. …
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Many people aspire to be a leader because they have a natural affinity to lead and help people grow. Other people may elect to be a leader for less than noble reasons. Maybe they want to lead for the money or what they think will be a prestigious or powerful position.

Marcus had been working for months on a project that culminated in a presentation to Senior Executives. He asked his leader to provide him with some feedback. At the end of the presentation, Marcus’ leader did have two pieces of feedback for him. One, his font size was too small on his presentation slides, and two, he did a “really nice job.” While Marcus was happy to hear that he had done “a nice job” it still left him wondering—what about his presentation was “nice” and what could he do better in the future.

Even though it happened more than a decade ago that day is still very clear in my memory. My supervisor came into my office—angry—saying I could not be trusted to handle a certain project. When I asked “why” no reason was given. The only response was the work would be reassigned…

Leadership at its essence is about relationships.  To lead you must have people who are willing to follow. Followers may choose to follow a leader because of the leader’s title or position, but followership solely from formal authority is often short lived.  Leaders who struggle to connect with employees will often rely on “because I…
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We send leaders to class or for coaching and we see incremental results. Leaders are overwhelmed by the myriad of things they need to think about and practice to be a good leader.