From Buddy to Boss: Making the Transition from Co-worker to Supervisor

Sarah was excited for her transition from individual contributor to the team lead.  She loved her teammates and she was a good employee.  She thought her team would be excited about her promotion.  She thought moving into the leader role would be easy.  She thought wrong…

One of the most difficult leadership transitions is rising out of the peer group to become the group supervisor.  This transition—more than any other transition—is filled with landmines.  Many new leaders, in the excitement of being promoted, will overlook key groundwork that must be laid for the transition to be successful.  They are often surprised by the reaction (and even resistance) to their promotion.  Their hopes and expectations of being a leader are often dashed before they begin.

What to Expect when Transitioning from Buddy to Boss

Every transition is different, but there are some common challenges when considering the move from buddy to boss.

Expect Relationships to Change

As much as you would like everything to stay the same—the decision to accept the position of supervisor sets you apart from the group.  Once you become the supervisor—relationships will change.  You must be prepared to treat your friend, that you have known for years, as firmly and as fairly as you do every other direct report. On the other hand, while you may be able to separate friendship from work—your friend may not understand why you need to make that distinction.  A true friend will not try to take advantage of your friendship but be prepared for an adjustment period either way.

Does this mean you can no longer socialize with your colleagues outside of work?  Not necessarily, if you can demonstrate that you can create a clear barrier between buddy and boss.  Beware of the perception of favoritism if you frequently socialize with one or two close direct reports.  Consider gracefully changing the subject or making a quick exit if conversation turns to derogatory comments about the company.  As a leader your words and actions need to reflect your position. 

Expect Hurt Feelings

You may have competed for your new position with other colleagues in your group.  Do not expect other candidates for the job to celebrate with you.  In fact, you may encounter a passive-aggressive, or even hostile, welcome.  Do not be surprised if you have direct reports that are slow to follow your direction. They may be upset that they did not receive the promotion themselves, or they may be aligning themselves with colleagues who did not receive the promotion.  Do not avoid the person or persons who are upset—in fact DO have a conversation with them to address their concerns.   

Expect an Attentive Audience (with a Long Memory)

Your new direct reports will be watching you closely.  Will you hold people accountable?  Will you play favorites?  Will you allow people to bend the rules?  Expect some people to test your authority and see how far they can push you out of the boundaries.  Expect that old habits may come back to haunt you.  For example, if you occasionally missed deadlines as an employee—how will you now hold people accountable to meeting deadlines?  

Navigating the Transition from Buddy to Boss

The transition from buddy to boss is rarely smooth sailing, but there are steps you can take to minimize some of the challenges.

Be Clear with Yourself

Before you can set expectations and boundaries with your new employees you need to be clear about what those expectations and boundaries are yourself.  Think through the following areas.  Ask your leader for suggestions if needed.

• What do I need from my direct reports?  What do they need from me?
• What do I need the team to know about me and my leadership style?
• How will we communicate?
• How will I demonstrate fairness to all employees?
• How will I manage my boundary between friendship and leader?
• Are there any direct reports that may be upset at my promotion?  How can we work through any hurt feelings?  How will I communicate that I value them as team members?

Schedule Individual Conversations ASAP

It is a good practice to set up individual meetings with each of your direct reports soon after your promotion is announced.  Make the focus of the meeting listening to the employee.

Ask your employees:

• What questions or concerns do you have about me as the supervisor?
• What can I do in my new role to help you?

If the employee is upset about your promotion:

• Demonstrate that you understand how he or she feels.
• Reiterate that they are a key member of the team and you need their skills for the team to be successful.
• Ask for their continued commitment to the team.
• Remind them if they do have questions or concerns, you are willing to listen and you hope they will gain confidence in you as a supervisor over time.
• If this person is a good friend—state that you hope this will not interfere with your friendship.  A true friend will understand why you need to demonstrate fairness to all in your new role.

Discuss Expectations with the Team

Bring the team together as a group to discuss their expectations of you.  Share about your leadership style and how you envision working with the team.  Will you be hands on or working alongside the team?  When will you be scheduling regular check-ins and meetings?  How will you communicate to the team?  How do you prefer team members communicate with you?  What are some of the priorities or challenges that the team will be tackling next?

Leadership is a tough job, but it can be extremely rewarding.  Do your best to honor your relationships while setting new expectations.  Try not to let the bumps and bruises of the transition discourage you. 

READ MORE:

Promoted from Peer to Leader: 18 Ways to Make A Smooth Transition – Forbes

Navigating the Transition from Friend to Boss – Harvard Business Review

What to Do First When Managing Former Peers – Harvard Business Review